
Begin with a gentle temperature read: “On a scale of one to ten, how present are you today, and what would nudge you one point higher?” Add consent questions: “Is now a good time for direct feedback?” Normalize vulnerability: “We can pause any time if something feels off.” These cues lower defensiveness, align expectations, and make it safe to admit confusion or fatigue, keeping conversations grounded, respectful, and focused on sustainable progress rather than performative perfection.

Co‑design simple agreements: “What outcomes do you hope to see by three sessions from now?” and “What feedback style helps you learn fastest—written notes, live discussion, or annotated examples?” Address boundaries: “What is out of scope for us?” Define cadence, confidentiality, and escalation: “How should we handle missed commitments?” Jointly shaping these expectations gives both sides ownership, removes ambiguity, and enables a dependable rhythm where effort compounds. Revisit the agreement regularly as needs evolve and goals sharpen.

Show active listening with reflective paraphrases: “I heard you’re worried about rework because requirements keep shifting—did I capture that right?” Use silence strategically, and ask non‑leading questions: “What decision would future‑you thank you for?” Acknowledge emotions without judgment: “It makes sense this feels heavy.” These small moves teach mentees their voice matters, strengthening trust. When trust rises, experimentation becomes easier, feedback lands cleanly, and stretch goals feel exciting instead of threatening or overwhelming.